I love the holidays. I love Christmas. I love the time with family, the preparations, food, festivities, games and family time.
I miss Christmas. I made the choice about 5 years ago to move where I want to... away from family and friends. I needed to live where I was comfortable, not where I was loved, but not really a part of things. Does that even make sense? I am not sure. But I moved from California, back to Oregon, because when I had lived up here before I loved the slower pace on life. I loved the green, the seasons changing... and I was so very tired of the hustle and bustle of the Southern California way of life. Not all of it. I loved the ocean. I miss being 15 minutes from it. I do miss family, but in general I am rather happy with my small town life.
This is the time of year when I feel the hurt. I miss all of those fun family things that I know are not the same as when I was younger, but I miss it anyway. I miss the magic of seeing children discover their stockings with glee. I miss the smiles and giggles when opening presents.
I have a tree. I couldn't not have one. But underneath are a couple of presents from a neighbor/friend and one send from my mom. I have stocking out that no one will fill. When I wake up on Christmas morning it won't be to excited children, but to the dog that wants to go pee. I will make my own breakfast and open the present or two I have. I'm not complaining, really, I am expressing my sadness about the loss of such wonderful times that will never happen again. I know that there are so many others out there like me, so in that respect, I know that I am not alone.
I need to go bake some dog treat cookies. Maybe that will pull me out of my funk?
No comments:
Post a Comment